Cultivating Mindful Self-Compassion and Compassionate Love
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Cultivating Mindful Self-Compassion and Compassionate Love


February 24, 2023
By Scott Glassman, PsyD

“Every step, every breath in mindfulness is an act of love,” wrote Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh. In this quote, Thich Nhat Hanh highlights the connection between mindfulness and compassionate action.

A young woman with her eyes closed and a serene look on her face tilts her head upward.
Mindful self-compassion can be developed through specific practices including a focus on the breath, body scans, gratitude and loving-kindness.

Mindfulness is the act of paying attention, on purpose, and without judgment to life experiences. This creates a foundation for greater curiosity and empathy. By being curious and empathic toward one’s own experiences, we are able to take steps to better care for ourselves, especially in times of need. The practice of mindfulness often leads to a greater awareness of what those needs are, as well as a desire to help meet those needs—both in ourselves and others.

Kristin Neff, who has conducted extensive research in the area of self-compassion, views mindfulness as a prerequisite for self-compassion. According to Neff, mindfulness not only aids us in recognizing painful feelings, but encourages us to approach our pain with kindness rather than avoiding it. In becoming an observer of our own suffering, we are distancing ourselves from the “story” of that suffering, which reduces the negative reactions that perpetuate our distress. Furthermore, we can step into that more neutral territory of awareness without ever losing our desire to care deeply for ourselves in those moments.

In her model of self-compassion, Neff suggests that it is the combination of mindfulness, self-kindness, and the recognition of our common humanity that strengthens our tendency to care for ourselves during times of difficulty. Common humanity is an important part of self-compassion. It refers to the awareness that we all experience suffering and that no one is alone in facing difficult circumstances. This understanding alone can help ease feelings of isolation.

Developing Mindful Self-Compassion

Mindful self-compassion can be developed through specific practices, often referred to as loving-kindness meditation. In the Master of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at PCOM, students practice and learn how to guide a wide variety of mindfulness exercises in the course "Mindfulness, Positive Emotions, and Well-Being." These practices include a focus on the breath, body scans, gratitude, and loving-kindness.

Guided Loving-Kindness Meditation

Developing deeper levels of self-compassion through meditation often goes hand-in-hand with cultivating love toward others. One loving-kindness meditation that combines mindful self-compassion and compassion for others is called “Expanding the Boundaries of Love,” which students learn to guide in their A Happier You practicum.

In this meditation, individuals are first asked to think of someone they feel close with, and to direct loving thoughts and feelings toward them. They are then asked to think of someone they do not know well, and to repeat the outward direction of loving thoughts and feelings. At the third level, they are asked to think of someone with whom they have some difficulty and to direct the same loving thoughts toward that person. The final parts of the exercise involve directing loving thoughts and feelings toward the broader world, and then back toward the self.

This kind of mindfulness work may be especially necessary and effective among healthcare professionals. A recent review of mindfulness interventions with nurses revealed medium-to-large effect sizes on levels of self-compassion, traumatic stress, burnout, stress and compassion satisfaction.

How to Practice Mindfulness

One of the missions of the Master of Applied Positive Psychology program is to offer public resources to support well-being, happiness, and flourishing. MAPP students in their course "Mindfulness, Positive Emotions, and Well-Being" have created a set of downloadable mindfulness meditations. The course is taught by Dr. Steven Hickman, former Chief Operating Officer of the Global Compassion Coalition and founding member of the UCSD Center for Mindfulness.

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